Hilarious status for Whatsapp

Ummm, Can we just admit we may have taken this anybody can grow up to be President thing a bit too far.

I like to name my iPod ‘Titanic’ so when it says ‘Syncing Titanic’ i click cancel and it makes me feel like a hero.

Most people don’t think I’m as old as I am until they hear me stand up.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

The only thing that could stop me from taking selfies is a photo of what I look like taking selfies.

When I was a kid I slept with a nightlight… to keep away monsters who were scared of small, low wattage light bulbs.

Decided to make a life altering decision today… When I think of it I’ll let you know

People leave you out in the cold and get mad when you learn how to get warm by yourself.

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.

All my life I thought air was free…… until I bought a bag of chips.

Soo the oil leak finally stopped, way to go Obama.. took you long enough

I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. But giving payment when payment is due is an entirely different thing.

Ever wondered why need to pee intensifies when you are unlocking the door?

Of Course I talk to myself, because sometimes I need Expert Advice.

Don’t be afraid to fail because only through failure do you learn to succeed.

Don’t fear the enemy that attacks you, but the false friend that hugs you. Careful who you trust don’t be naive.

Do you know why a previous relationship is called EX? It’s not the term for the past. EX is short for EXpired.

It’s always the wrong person who teaches you the right things in life.

I wonder if I know the person who I am going to marry.

That awkward moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life anymore.

A man is not rewarded for having a brain but for using it well.

If a man is allowed to select a girl from 100 girls and even if he picks the most beautiful he still FEELS the PAIN of losing the remaining NINETY NINE and Women says… men don’t have feelings.

It isn’t the size of the gift that matters, but the size of the heart that gives it.

I don’t know why people are more interested in other people’s life than their own.

It hurts when someone you really trust lets you down.

Don’t loose hope. You don’t know what tomorrow brings.

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real.

At the end of each day be grateful for another day of life and for the next one on its way.

In reality, no one cares, they’re just curious.

Never regret a single moment of the journey. If it wasn’t your destination, it was preparation.

If you love someone, show them. Because you could soon find yourself watching them walk out the door. Words mean nothing but actions mean everything

WHY Worry? If you have done the very best you can, worrying won’t make it any better.

If you want to be successful you must respect one rule, never let failure take control of you.

Everybody has gone through something that has changed them in a way that they could never go back to the person they once were.

Relations are like electric currents. Wrong connection will give you shocks throughout your life but the right ones light up your life.

They ignore you now, but they will need you later.

You don’t get to choose when or who you meet, but you do get to choose who you hold on to.

I love my relationship with my bed. No commitment needed. We just sleep together every night.

When GOD pushes you to the edge of difficulty trust him fully because two things can happen. Either he will catch you when you fall, or he will teach you how to fly.

Good Time + Crazy Friends = Amazing Memories