Sarcastic Whatsapp Status | Best Sarcasm


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Sarcastic Status For Whatsapp

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

I stopped fighting my inner demons, were on the same side now.

I know it’s sad but I really want to take a slow cruise to China, so I can update my Facebook status with “…is in a real Asian ship.”

I follow the quote, “Always be true to yourself” because I only lie to others!

First they ignore you then they laugh at you then they fight you then you win

Tip to reduce weight, first turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.

When we love, it is not necessary to understand what is happening outside, because everything happens inside us instead.

I am going to start cleaning my house. And by cleaning, i mean drinking beer and spraying everything with febreze.

The mother-daughter bond is a strong one, but I’ve just discovered the idiot-playing-with-superglue bond is stronger

Finally feeling accepted by my b/f’s mum with an invite to a family meal tonight. Bit nervous though. It’s been a while since I last waitresses.

You know, I don’t think all this time on Twitter WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT WALKING ACROSS THE SCREEN! has affected me at all.

I may be old enough to know better, but I am STILL young enough to DO IT…

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits but ultimately she is a MOTHER and we should respect her.

I’m a smart person, I just do stupid things.

Never leave on tomorrow, which u can do today.

Everyone hates me because I’m paranoid.

Just because you have a heart, it does not make you a human. You need to have emotions in that.

You know, I joined People Per Hour over six months ago. and they haven’t sent me a single person in all that time.

3 steps to move on. CTRL + ALT + DEL. Control yourself, look for an alternate solution & delete the situation that hurts you.

My mobile phone keeps telling me it’s unable to perform operations. I am relieved. I wouldn’t want it to start one on me when i’m not expecting it.

Whe&n some$one with 0 follow##ers sends me a tweet wit-h a link say0ing “you HAVE t~o see th:is,” nothing happens wh$$en you click it right?

We always overestimate our worries & underestimate our potential.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not

I have finally figured out why I can’t lose this extra weight. The shampoo I use in the shower that runs down my body says, “for extra volume and body.”

Death is hereditary.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad

How do you know when you are too drunk to drive? When you swerve to miss a tree then realise it was your air-freshener.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button

Wishes are always granted but you just have to wait for the perfect time.

I’m not 40, I’m eighteen with 22 years’ experience…

That’s so sweet when couples act like best friends and best friends act like couples.

I’m not getting older I’m just becoming a classic…

Every heart has a pain. Only the way of expressing it is different. Fools hide it in eyes, while brilliant hide it in their smile.

I’m a smart person, I just do stupid things.

When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.