Last seen 1980!
God is really creative, I mean… just look at me!
I hate fake people. You know what I’m talking about. Mannequins.
I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
I love my job only when I’m on vacation….
Never make eye contact while eating a banana.
Life is Short – Chat Fast!
If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.
Hey there WhatsApp is using me.
Girls use Photoshop to look beautiful… Boys use Photoshop to show their creativity.
Fact: Phone on silent mode- 10 Missed call… Turns volume to loud- Nobody calls all day!!
Girls, if he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs. send him to KFC.
You can never buy Love…. But still you have to pay for it …
If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. I’ll tell you more.
Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status?
I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me!
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death…!!
When I’m a Pedestrian I Hate cars… When I’m Driving I Hate Pedestrians…
Whoever says “Good Morning” on Monday’s deserves to get slapped
Mosquito’s are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.
I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy saving mode
Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook.
Everything funnier when your supposed to be quiet…
I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes!!
Save water drink beer.
6 Peg Loading…
Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software…it’s called #Monday, please fix it
Always wear cute pajamas to bed you’ll never know who you will meet in your dreams.
God is really creative , i mean ..just look at me
Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.
When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…
I wake up when I can’t hold my pee in any longer.
My father always told me, ‘Find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.
Life is too short smile while you still have teeth…
My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.
If College has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking
I’m Jealous Of My Parents… I’ll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!
Here my dad comes on WhatsApp… From now on my status would be ‘***no status***’ or just a smiley…
Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbours are not.